June 26, 2013
Mom of Many
children, example, hardship, moms, parents, teenagers, trust
This past year and a half has been a crash course in tricky teenage technicalities.
I think I failed on the first few classes.
But one thing I have learned:
- GOD’S PARENTING ARM IS LONGER THAN MINE
I have finally had the faith to try out that theory. And it is true—God loves and cares for my children as much and MORE than I do!
When that youth can come to me and say they hold these boundaries that I have set as ones they want to set now for themselves, it makes the nights of painful-holding-back-tears-prayer-filled-sleep fade into the background.
- YOUNG TEENS FOLLOW OLDER SIBLINGS
And it isn’t always the older sibling that is walking well that they follow. “Good people” intimidate all of us so that we feel we might never measure up, so why try?? You have been there. I have reached into the memories to *feel* this again, so I can have a noticeable compassion, the type that builds bridges instead of walls.
- OVER-REACTING NEVER WORKS
To see our teenagers stepping off the cliff into a world that we have already tried, it brings a knee-jerk reaction to raise our voice and use words like “foolish” and “naive”. But to the youth, that isn’t love, that is unfair judgement. Where trust isn’t, intimidating judgement is. How do we gain their trust??
Yep, they need to figure somethings out on their own.
And that requires time. Plenty of safe time without me there “hawking” over every. little. detail.
- DISCERNMENT ISN’T SOMETHING TAUGHT, IT IS CAUGHT.
I cannot ‘scream’ discernment into each one, or bully it in, or lecture it in….they simply are watching me.
Always watching me.
They see what I have done and can decide for themselves whether they want to take the risk to do the bad and reap a negative reward, or do well and receive the blessing.
Don’t tangle with the teens.
God’s arms are long enough to hold you while He guides them.
November 23, 2012
Mom of Many
Blue 7, learn, Mom of Many, young kids
Before I was a mother, I never wondered where the tape was or if we had a pencil with an eraser. I never had to look for my sunglasses or keys. My purse was always well stocked with mints and gum. I also did not have to purchase several extra pairs of scissors to ensure I could always find one.
As a child (youngest of two) my personal box of crayons was always neatly organized with all the tips up—sometimes arranged by rainbow order—and they all had their paper on. I never even ventured to doodle on my school folders until the last month of school each year…yeah, I suppose they have some OCD label for students like that now.
- CHILDREN–YOUNG AND OLD–LOVE OFFICE SUPPLIES.
A Wite-Out roller has never survived even ONE DAY in this house. Rubber bands? What are those? Staples randomly emptied just to watch how they leave the stapler. Dry Markers. Postage stamps—fine, if you used them for mailing letters…but they are NOT stickers!
Is there a 12 inch ruler in this house that still has a straight edge? 4×6 cards, card stock, printer paper, and post-it notes are in high demand here.
Glue. Spilled Elmers or clogged tips made me think that Glue sticks were a perfect answer. Could they get a string-type something to keep the cap near the stick?? I always find the cap too late to save the glue, or maybe the glue just has a 1 week expiration date on it.
- IF YOU WANT TO PUNISH AN ARTISTIC CHILD…TAKE AWAY HIS TAPE PRIVILEGES.
I learned this week that electrical tape doesn’t work to tape drawings on the walls. Well, Blue 7 taught me that after the littles got their Scotch tape dispenser taken away. (How did they find the electrical tape? I am sure I would have looked forever for that)
- OFFICE SUPPLIES MAKE PERFECT GIFTS FOR ANYONE 5 AND UP.
Or just give the mom a gift certificate to Office Max.
October 27, 2012
Mom of Many
attention, children, example, friends, goals, habits, listen, moms, parents, Pink 4, trust
Someday, maybe after I am long gone and my children are looking through my archives, I hope Pink 4 will see what a great help she has been to me.
You see, I have a track record of not being the best listener. I tend to think over my next statement while the other person is talking….or I simply interrupt with my “important” thoughts. I have done this to my husband and friends….and most regretfully, to my children.
- INABILITY TO LISTEN BREAKS TRUST
I can see in the children’s eyes that they don’t trust me to *hear* them. Especially my teen daughters. I have a long road ahead to change this pattern in my marriage, my parenting, and my friendships.
So I have a set a mini goal for the start of this change:
- STOP WHAT I AM DOING – GET ON THEIR LEVEL – AND LISTEN!!!
Pink 4 was instrumental in teaching me that certain responses get the opposite results from what I desired. Lecturing, yelling, answering with *auto-no’s*, and ignoring are all very unkind and disrespectful.
- GOOD LISTENERS DON’T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING.
Some times in life there are no words for a proper response. Just listen….and leave with a hug. Now for some wisdom for when that time for silence is.
Thank you, Pink 4.
August 15, 2012
Mom of Many
blessed, children, chores, friends, thankful, young kids
This morning I was inspired to keep a 2 minute Grateful list. The idea is to take two minutes and write down as many things as you can that you are currently grateful for. Kids can do it, too! Here’s mine:
- checkbooks that balance to the penny
- children that play together quietly
- checking things off the to do list
- my grown son sitting next to me for lunch
- soft, soaking rainfall
- homemade food
- sticky kisses
- flavored creamer
- scales that give good reports
- empty clothes baskets
- calls from my married daughter
- women’s Bible study
- unlimited texting
- tiny arms around my neck for a long hug
- crushed ice
- sleeping baby that wakes happy
- freshly bathed kids
So, I guess the lesson I have learned from mothering is:
- I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY CHILDREN
June 7, 2012
Mom of Many
On those days that I find myself with my face in my hands I really have a hard time remembering that there have been….and will be….more Good days to come.
So what type of a day reduces me to a puddle of tears and sighs? Well, there can be a million reasons a woman can have an emotional day. But the type of day I am talking about is simply an overwhelmed-cannot-believe-God-thought-I-could-handle-so-many-children-feeling.
And it is just that; a feeling. The children haven’t done anything super-outrageous—for children. Just normal stuff. Laziness, sibling rivalry, testing boundaries, making messes. Some are more, some are less, but all are about equal in their need for growth, maturity, and the Lord Jesus. Time will help.
But it is the span of ages that seems to have me the most weary. It makes me able to see “down the road” to when the next couple get to that point and I shudder at my lack of strength to handle today, let alone the next 19 years!! (that is the amount of years until the baby reaches the age of the oldest)
Is there any encouragement for a woman? One simple verse will snap me back:
“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” (Matt 6:34)
Just like I cannot worry about tomorrow….I also cannot live in the memories of yesterday -OR- wish for tomorrow to come sooner.
Knowing that we cannot assume we will always have another day, I must do my best for and with each child, while I have this day.
- ENJOY EACH LOVELY MOMENT
- HUG MORE
- SMILE OFTEN
- LET THE CHILDREN LAUGH, AND LAUGH WITH THEM
I might be learning these things, but I have many miles to go to display them consistently in my everyday life.
May 25, 2012
Mom of Many
blessed, consistent, hardship, listen, needs, thankful
Whenever I feel that we are getting “too busy” and a sense of dread that I will for sure forget something important, then God clears my calendar.
I don’t always like the way this happens, but I am always relieved days later when I realize we had too much planned.
- WHOLE HOUSE ILLNESS IS A CALL TO REST, ACCEPT IT AS A GIFT
It isn’t always illness, sometimes it is family relationships (ie: sibling rivalry) that wakes me up to our need for a refreshing change.
- FIGHTING WORDS AND NEGATIVE ATTITUDES IS A SURE SYMPTOM OF HEART PROBLEMS.
This is where the prayer for wisdom comes in. My words and attitudes tend to mirror–or even set off–the problems around me so I must be careful to “listen first…pray/think next….talk last”
I am not afraid to lay aside other *good* and *important* parts of life in order to focus on trouble spots before they become disaster zones.
May 22, 2012
Mom of Many
cleaning, Mom of Many, sleep, young kids
A blog that talks about what a mom has learned as a mom wouldn’t be complete without a post about stomach flu.
It would be nice if I could share practical ways to avoid catching this dreaded (SUPER-dreaded) sickness, or ways to clean up the messes, and freshen the air….
….but I am feeling more on the sarcastic-tired-of-sleeping-in-between-bucket-dumps-type. I apologize in advance.
- KIDS ALWAYS WAIT UNTIL THE LAST, POSSIBLE MOMENT TO THROW UP
- THEY RARELY MAKE IT TO AN “EASY-TO-CLEAN-UP” PLACE
- WHAT THEY PUKED IS USUALLY THE SAME AS YOUR LAST MEAL
- ODO BAN CLEANER SMELLS JUST AS BAD AS THE MESS YOU JUST CLEANED.
- EVEN IF YOU AREN’T SICK IN THE *MICROBIOLOGICAL SENSE*….YOU FEEL JUST AS SICK
- HEALTHY, OLDER KIDS ARE not HELPFUL, IN FACT, THEY BECOME INVISIBLE.
That pretty much sums up my last 48 hours. But is wasn’t my first lesson in Vomit 101…more like 2101.
Have a nice day. :D Blahhhh!