Clear the Calendar

Whenever I feel that we are getting “too busy” and a sense of dread that I will for sure forget something important, then God clears my calendar.

I don’t always like the way this happens, but I am always relieved days later when I realize we had too much planned.

• WHOLE HOUSE ILLNESS IS A CALL TO REST, ACCEPT IT AS A GIFT

It isn’t always illness, sometimes it is family relationships (ie: sibling rivalry) that wakes me up to our need for a refreshing change.

• FIGHTING WORDS AND NEGATIVE ATTITUDES IS A SURE SYMPTOM OF HEART PROBLEMS.

This is where the prayer for wisdom comes in.  My words and attitudes tend to mirror–or even set off–the problems around me so I must be careful to “listen first…pray/think next….talk last”

I am not afraid to lay aside other *good* and *important* parts of life in order to focus on trouble spots before they become disaster zones.

OK, This Might Get A Little Gross

A blog that talks about what a mom has learned as a mom wouldn’t be complete without a post about stomach flu.

It would be nice if I could share practical ways to avoid catching this dreaded (SUPER-dreaded) sickness, or ways to clean up the messes, and freshen the air….

….but I am feeling more on the sarcastic-tired-of-sleeping-in-between-bucket-dumps-type.  I apologize in advance.

• KIDS ALWAYS WAIT UNTIL THE LAST, POSSIBLE MOMENT TO THROW UP
• THEY RARELY MAKE IT TO AN “EASY-TO-CLEAN-UP” PLACE
• WHAT THEY PUKED IS USUALLY THE SAME AS YOUR LAST MEAL
• ODO BAN CLEANER SMELLS JUST AS BAD AS THE MESS YOU JUST CLEANED.
• EVEN IF YOU AREN’T SICK IN THE *MICROBIOLOGICAL SENSE*….YOU FEEL JUST AS SICK
• HEALTHY, OLDER KIDS ARE not HELPFUL, IN FACT, THEY BECOME INVISIBLE.

That pretty much sums up my last 48 hours.  But is wasn’t my first lesson in Vomit 101…more like 2101.

Have a nice day.   Blahhhh!

Funny Bone Moments

I got the giggles when I realized my newest “mom of many” lesson.

Imagine a very long van with many bench seats.  Add in weeks of many trips with the van full of various sizes of children.  Van now needs to be cleaned out of several empty drink cups/cans, wrappers, books, papers, toys…you name it.

• IF YOU CANNOT REACH ALL THE JUNK IN THE VAN THEN JUST STOMP ON THE BRAKES AND IT WILL ALL COME ROLLING TO THE FRONT FOR EASY ACCESS.

Now I just need to bag it up!

 

Have I entered the “Queen Stage”?

Reading my Above Rubies magazine I came across a new term–”queen stage”–referring to moms that have “consistently and faithfully trained their children” will one day enter a reward time.  Hmmmm, have I been consistent with the home training of our children?

Looking around this home I would say, probably not.  Everyone in the house should feel their responsibility to keep it clean and tidy, this article when on to say.  I believe it, but I have not instilled it in our children.

• ORGANIZE
• ROUTINE
• DISCIPLINE
• ENCOURAGE
• RESIST

What does that spell?  O-R-D-E-R

Each of those is pretty self-explanatory until you get to RESIST.  But you can probably guess….

Resist the natural resistance from the family to finish their assigned tasks.

• I, THE MOM, AM THE MOST RESISTANT TO MAINTAINING ORDER.

So quit yelling at the family for ‘quitting before it is done’ and show them how to do it—by doing it first!

• THE YOUNGER YOU START TRAINING, THE MORE NATURAL IT IS FOR THE CHILD TO LIVE THAT WAY.

And the biggest cut of all….the article pointed out that by the time my young daughters have reached their teen years, they should know how to run the home.  It is my fault if they don’t know the basics.  My fault for not maintaining order in our home, especially being organized/disciplined enough to train the littles….while they are young.

So to answer the question, whether I am ready to enter the Queen Stage or not….sadly, no.  So I will persevere with hard work and look forward to my future, guilt-free reward of being “The Queen”.

The Crown of the home is Godliness.

The Beauty of the home is Order.

The Glory of the home is Hospitality.

The Blessing of the home is Contentment.

(article snippets from: Above Rubies Issue 83, “Order in the Home”)

Forgiveness….Trust?

In life there are times that you need to forgive when you don’t FEEL forgiveness in yourself. The relationship is valued more than the selfish need to be ‘right’ or harbor bitterness. But does forgiveness automatically reinstate trust?
As a wife, friend, daughter-in-law, and mother I can say emphatically, “NO!”

• FORGIVING SOMEONE DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY RESTORE TRUST

Well, if I can be so sure of my own heart on this issue, I really need to step back and consider other people’s hearts when they have needed to forgive me.
Most recently, Pink 4. I guess I just expected her to trust me again after I hurt her. Moms don’t always see things from the child’s viewpoint.
Child.
I mean, young woman. Being her mom has been a joy, and now to help her into adulthood, I have had my eyes opened to my insensitivities toward my young adult children up to this point.
Time for another change for this mom.

If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes

[The longer I journal about what I have learned while being a mother, I risk the chance of repeating a topic.  Like it seems I have posted about today's topic before, but I am too tired to skim my previous titles to find out.]

I was really hoping that the children would just automatically become “cleanies” like some of their ancestors.  You know, like some genetically passed on gift.  But I see that they are more like their parents in that they are all pretty willing to put up with a mess for awhile before doing anything about it.

• IF YOU DON’T TELL A CHILD TO DO THEIR CHORES, THEY WON’T GET IT DONE.

I was under the false hope that the older a child got, that their maturity would just give them the incentive to do their share of the household duties, without any prompting.

• IF MOM DOESN’T DO HER SHARE, THE CHILDREN WILL STOP DOING THEIRS.

Yesterday I put Laundry and Kitchen on the auction block and gave the teen girls first grabs.  They chose Laundry (of course) and set to work.  I promised I would do my Kitchen before I went to bed.

I need to break in here with a confession.  I don’t keep all my promises.

With that said, you can probably guess what the Kitchen looks like this morning.  And the laundry is still in the ‘first load’ stage. Today is looking more like a “gonna-need-a-cuppa-coffee” day.

• THE DISHES FAIRY DOESN’T EXIST

Maybe the person who really needed to inherit the “clean genes” was me! I do love a clean countertop, so much so that I have organized my kitchen with shelf space for the small appliances to have a home off the counter when not in use.  I love space and clean lines.  I know how to do it, too.  But I don’t always have the incentive to keep at it.

• THE CHANGE THAT NEEDS TO TAKE PLACE, IN THE INCENTIVE DEPARTMENT, MUST START WITH THE MOM.

Just remember this everyone….your mom was right. (except if I am your mom, then it was your grandma)

The Children Are What YOU Eat!

You are what you eat.  We have all heard it.  But do you realize your power as a parent?  The children are developing eating habits from us! (YIKES!)

• WHATEVER THE CHILDREN SEE US ENJOYING, THEY WILL TASTE.

Doritoes, donuts, dum dums, cookie dough, Dr Pepper……

Carrots, celery, steamed veggies, fresh juices, nuts, seeds, green salads…..

My 21 month old son has been a real eye-opener in this area.  We have always kept easy-no-more-than-4-ingredients-type meals for the kids since they are “so picky”.  Well, that is where we are wrong!  They do love the occasional bag of chips, pan of mac n cheese, frozen pizza and pop.  But they are very hungry for the whole foods!

They will eat my homemade bread, if I stop buying the store-bought kind!

They will eat banana chips instead of potato chips!

Skip the microwave popcorn and cook it on the stove top!

That hotdish will be more filling and healthier with brown instead of white rice!

I don’t feel guilty letting a child have an apple 10 minutes before supper….because IT IS FOOD! Cannot hardly “spoil your appetite” by feeding it!

Pizza night is not going to include pop anymore….we can make our own lemonade!

I am so relieved to discover that it isn’t impossible to change to healthier eating habits for the whole family!  I am just sad that it took me 21 years to learn it.

Calendars

Time is a concept that most children take awhile to fully understand.  The calendar is irrelevant to my children, I have come to realize.

• ON YOUR BIRTHDAY YOU ARE NOW “GOING ON” THE NEXT AGE

Never fails, blow out the candles, eat some cake, open some presents, have a date with Mom or Dad….and you are almost ANOTHER year older!

So after a whole year of calling the 8-year-old “almost 9″, then when she TURNS NINE, I think she must be 10!!! It doesn’t help an over-forty-getting-forgetful-already-have-enough-ages-to-remember-type-mom.

Can we at least have SIX MONTHS of the actual age?

Poor things, a year is a long time….not to mention a month, a week, a day, or even an hour!  But none of us are perfect in the patience category.

Next month marks the “Birthday Marathon” in our house –at least one birthday each month from March to September.  It is a huge year. Pink 4 will be old enough for a real job. Pink 3 will get her driver’s license, Blue 2 will graduate high school, Pink 1 will be 21.  I hope I have what it takes to make these hallmarks special for each one.

• MOMS LOVE TO WATCH THEIR CHILDREN GROW AND ACHIEVE

It is a privilege to have a part in these precious lives.  And how sweet to watch the younger children look up to the oldest four.

• IT CAN BE A PAINFUL JOURNEY AT TIMES, BUT IT WOULD BE MORE WORK TO KEEP THEM ALL YOUNG!

A mom’s place is a blessed place.

 

What a Mom Can Count On

• THERE ARE DAILY THINGS THAT MOMS CAN RELY ON

Like Legos underfoot, socks left damp and smelly in the toe of any boot, empty cookie jars, sticky doorknobs, empty toilet paper rolls, spills during the meal, phone calls that wake babies, dogs that run out every time a child opens the door, sickness when planning a day out, and seldom getting a full night of uninterrupted sleep.

• THESE THINGS CAN GET REALLY ANNOYING!

To have at least 18 years of these same things over and over playing out nearly every day, a woman can reach her limit of patience!

• ONE DAY A MOM WILL REALIZE SHE MISSES THOSE SAME, ANNOYING, DAILY, RELIABLE THINGS.

She will turn around in her empty nest one day and find that she misses baking for her crew, meals are dull and boring, there is no one to run the dog, and it is too quiet to sleep.  She wishes she was still needed.  The doorknobs and laundry stay clean longer.  The bathroom stays stocked longer. And her phone is quiet.  She would love the chance to rock a baby to sleep.

We are blessed dear friends with these houses full of children and different “annoying” things that fill our days.  And one day we will be blessed to welcome grandchildren to fill our homes with the noise and clutter that accompanies these young families.

Let’s not wish away today, tomorrow comes soon enough.

They Are Just Following Suit

I have no cause to be upset and impatient with the children.  Not this week.

My “good mommy medal” is hanging crookedly and needs some polish.

I wouldn’t have known this except I have learned:

• CHILDREN MIRROR THEIR PARENTS

It is a wonder that parents needs mirrors at all in their homes, the kids are a perfect reflection of them!  They even speak up without hesitation when our looks need adjusting, not just our actions!

When I notice them acting up, fighting, whining, being lazy, refusing to finish their work or studies, it is a red flag to me.  They are just following suit.

My actions of late have been less than productive, less than motherly, less than spiritual.  Frankly, I have been quite selfish and naughty.

Confessing this doesn’t make things easier.  It doesn’t change my actions, or the children’s.  But it is the only, right, first step to getting my engine back on the track.

Thankfully:

• FAMILY IS FORGIVING, AND UNDERSTANDING

Therefore, I can be forgiving and understanding of the children when I see them falling short.  I can relate.