New Toys!!

Every so often I feel overwhelmed by unfinished projects and general clutter.  I was raised by two “cleanies”…everything has a place, everything in its place.  Every spring and fall we would wash walls, windows, rearrange furniture and wall hangings and get rid of stuff we no longer liked or needed.

I have a desire to live like that but there are not just 4 people living here!  We have 8 children still at home!

How I manage is with a fall and spring cleaning…but not like when I grew up.  No this is more of a if-it-doesn’t-have-a-place-get-rid-of-it-cleaning.  The flat spaces: the buffet, bookshelves, tables, boxes, and drawers that are overflowing with things that just didn’t make it to a good spot (yes, even the junk papers hardly ever get into the garbage)  I just swipe it into a box and then go through that box …”keep” “donate” “toss” mentality.  FlyLady got me going on this with her 27-fling boogie.

Sometimes I end up with a box of toys that I am planning on donating, but it just doesn’t get dropped of to the thrift shop.

• KIDS THAT FIND TOYS THEY HAVEN’T SEEN IN MONTHS WILL PLAY FOR HOURS.

It is such a joy to watch them play contentedly.  In their own little world.  The creativity is flowing and they are happy…not bored.

I am very motivated to keep a couple boxes of forgotten toys tucked away for that ‘fun famine’.  We don’t ever want boredom to take over!

• BOREDOM BREEDS NAUGHTINESS.

A bored child creates a naughty child…sad, but true sometimes.

• MOMS MAKE GREAT PLAYMATES.

My kids, especially my young boys, Blue 7 and Blue 8, sometimes forget how to play in a quiet, acceptable way (without breaking stuff)  It is fun to build a few MegaBlock garages for them to park their cars and trucks into.  Or pile up blocks as high as I can so they can have the pleasure of knocking them down.

• READING IS A FAVORITE PASTIME FOR MOST KIDS…AND IT HELPS THEM LEARN TO READ.

I read constantly to the 4 oldest…and I rarely read to the children now.  So sad.  Like neglect.  Missing out on so many good evenings of reading, storing up memories together.

As I recall all that I have learned as a mom of many, I am reminded not only of the awesomeness of the responsibility, but of the great blessing that each child is.

“You said!”

I have so many things that I have learned from the kids that some days my mind is a waterfall, spilling out and I want to blog all day long! (being 40 means if I don’t get it written down I will forget)

Today’s lesson:

• WHATEVER THE CHILDREN OVERHEAR YOU TALKING ABOUT…IS GOING TO HAPPEN!

So I have to be very careful about my side of the phone conversations!  It has been known to come back to me through a neighbor kid! “Can I go along when you go pick up your baby from Mexico?”

What?!?

I play it back in my mind, and recall my visit with a friend that was adopting from South America…you fill in the rest.

So, here we are, summer time, plenty of free time, and boredom.  They are constantly cooking up awesome things for us to do…then they tell me,

“But you said!”

What you don’t know…

….can’t hurt you.

That is not exactly the truth, but little people live by it!

• AN OWIE ONLY HURTS IF SOMEONE IS PAYING ATTENTION!

I cannot even count the times that a child will be perfectly fine, just about ready to get up from a fall, when someone will exclaim and gush all over the child wondering if he is hurt.  Their reward for their concern is loud, continuous crying.

Time goes on, that person learns not to over-react…until they see that the child is actually bleeding, some.  So that same child who wasn’t really hurt to begin with, now sees a speck of blood and the boo hooing starts again.

• A BOO BOO THAT ISN’T BLEEDING DOESN’T HURT.

Now we come out with the bandaids.  Families with lots of kids have plain, brown, generic bandages…not Disney or Looney Tunes.  But they work the best if the child is in a coma.  That way they won’t forever peel it back to see if they have healed up yet.  They never quite understand why the bandage doesn’t stick anymore.

• MY KISS HEALS SCORES OF HURTS.

I love the privilege of offering to hold the hurt one until the pain goes away.  I am so blessed to be the one that can ‘heal’.

There are very few places I refuse to kiss.

Group Effort

I see the children, at various ages, all have a built-in desire to be “grown-up”;  to do the grown up type work around the house and yard.  This desire has an expiration date.

• HARNESS THE ENERGY AND ENTHUSIASM FOR WORK THAT ONLY YOUNG KIDS POSSESS.

Even in the smallest accomplishments, a thank you and a cheer will reward not only the child, but also you!  Giving the positive feedback acts as a preservative on that desire to be a good worker.  (the opposite, sadly, is also true)

When the work is great, and time is short, a mom tends to bark orders.

• WORK ALONGSIDE YOUR CHILDREN

When you might not be working in a way that is not obvious to the children–like balancing the checkbook or making important phone calls– then take a moment to explain to them that you have “mommy” work to  do while they do their chores.

I love the FlyLady!  Although I have never been able to stick with her plan for more than a week or two, I have learned from her.

1. “Room Rescue”- take 5 minutes and tidy up one area…we have extended that to a “house rescue” which comes in handy when unexpected guests are knocking!  If ALL are working together, then no one is complaining!
2. 15-minute Timer-“you can do anything for 15 minutes”…priceless wisdom!
3. “Shine your sink”- a clean kitchen starts with a clean sink! (even if you have to empty the dirty dishes from it to do it!)
4. “Swish-n-swipe”-keep the bathrooms always clean by wiping it down in between heavy cleanings.

That was a bonus lesson.  My kids didn’t teach me those, but if I had not had this many children I am pretty sure I wouldn’t have recognized my need to try the FlyLady!

Let the children know they are part of a team!  The group effort will serve the whole family!

Blocked Goals

Whomever is the current baby in the house is the teacher of this lesson:

• YOUR AMOUNT OF DETERMINATION IS IN DIRECT CORRELATION TO THE  NUMBER OF TIMES YOU’RE INTERRUPTED BEFORE YOU FINALLY ACHIEVE THE GOAL.

Babies are notorious for being ‘needy’…and at no fault of their own!  We love being parents, of course, but there is an uncanny tendency to never quite be able to finish what you started!! Or at least when you thought you would have finished it.

You can somewhat plan for “interruptions” just by being prepared for when they will, inevitably, happen.  The days, weeks, and months just after a baby is born are the best times to be, shall we say, flexible? spontaneous?

Blue 9 is just about to have his first birthday.  He is teething, crawling, almost walking, oh, and climbing.  He loves to taste whatever he finds on the floor and he loves to unplug cords, push buttons, and open cupboards.  He loves to nurse and hates to sleep alone.  Now just play out your day with this child in your care…hmmm.

• I GET MORE DONE IF I PUT THE CHILDREN’S NEEDS FIRST.

Babies are not the only needy ones!  They all need food, rest, clean clothes, education, training, and opportunities for creative activities.  The whole family has many of the same needs that you can fill all at once.

So let’s leave with this final thought:

• CHILDREN ARE NOT INTERRUPTIONS…THEY ARE OPPORTUNITIES!

Pause in your goals long enough to work at your ultimate goal, that of godly parent.  Smile at the child, get down at their level, keep eye contact, and really listen.  It only takes a minute or two and it builds a bridge.  A “trust bridge” that one day you will want to be strong when that child is exploring new freedoms.

I am a little behind on these posts

I have been a mother for 20 years and I started learning things from my children from the very first day.

Although, I didn’t know I was learning.

What I share on this blog is something that most parents have also learned so I expect most moms will read this with a knowing smile, smirk, or nervous quake so let’s get this journal started!

Throughout this blog you will know me as “Fruitfulvine”, my husband is “Mighty Man” and my children are numbered in birth order preceded by an appropriate “pink” or “blue” to indicate girl or boy, respectively. (duh)

Let’s talk first about Pink 1.  She has taught me the most by far.  Being the oldest, she is also lovingly known as ‘the guinea pig’.  We tried everything on her first, of course!

• WHAT YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR KIDS…THEY LEARNED FROM YOU!

They learn from example!  You don’t want them to pick up your bad habits and negative attitudes…but they do.  Pink 1 didn’t hesitate to tell me when I had been doing the very thing I condemned in her.  I am thankful today that I know…but I didn’t take too kindly to hearing it that first time!

I love you Pink 1!  Thank you for your honesty!